What to do.... this is the question I have asked myself over and over again this last year. Do I go find a full time job where I can get experience and put Kaleb in daycare full time or do I keep working at Red Robin and Substitute teaching part time and get to stay home with my baby. I feel like because I don't have a "career" that people look down on me and see what I do as important. We live in a society that puts no importance on raising kids and how hard it is. It is always put on the back burning to getting ahead and making more money, in reality at the end of the day though, what is more important? To some people it might be more money and getting to the top of the ladder, but to me, it is my family for sure.
I HATE not having a plan. I go crazy if I don't have something planned in advance. I know God is helping me grow in this area and I am really learning to rely on him. My sister, via her husband quoted " God created you, thus it is his responsibility to take care of you." Duh! Why haven't I thought of it this way before. Just as I would not leave Kaleb to fend for himself, Christ does not leave me to fend for myself. With that said, it is still a constant struggle.
So here I am, playing tug o' war with myself every day, trying to figure out what to do. Maybe I should just drop the line and let God deal with it?!!
