I remember when I was little, well even up until I was probably 18 or so the countdown before my birthday would begin a month or so in advance. There was always a big hype about how exciting it was going to be and what I was going to get, and for those of you who don't know me that well, I'm not gonna lie.... I LOVE presents. You could wrap someone up I already have and give it to me, but there is something so wonderful about the anticipation of getting and giving gifts. It must be my love language. Anyway, as I have gotten older birthdays are still fun and exciting but the anticipation isn't the same. Kind of like Christmas.I still have to go to work, do the laundry and there isn't too much "special" treatment, well because I am an adult now.
As I am turning 28 today I am looking back on this last year and although it has been an extremely hard one, I am reminded of all the ways that God has provided for and blessed me. I am SO thankful for my wonderful baby boy who makes me so happy. I am so thankful for my friends and family. And am so lucky to have my best friend Kavin by my side experiencing all of this with me. God is truly great!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
My Journey
This year has been an amazing and yet very difficult one for me too. I received my Masters in teaching,I have had a wonderful baby who will be 1 in a matter of months, man that went fast... and I lost my dad to brain cancer in a very painful process. I have also, throughout this year been learning so much about myself. I have FINALLY decided to dive right in to my weight issues and tackle them head on. I know that this time I WILL loose the weight and keep it off. I am making a lifestyle change not just a diet and for me it is so much more than pounds although I do have a goal in mind. But, more importantly I want to be happy with who I am and healthy.
I think having Kaleb was a catalyst for me because although I did have drugs while giving birth I realized how mentally and physically strong my body was. If I can do that, I can do anything and so my thought process on a lot of things changed. I am starting to realize how strong of a person I am and am learning new things about myself through this process. This isn't just me alone realizing these things. I know that God has opened many doors for me and revealed himself through situations that have happened throughout this last year.
God's ongoing message that has been drilled into my head over and over and over again is that I will take care of you. To trust in him with everything I need and he will provide it. Maybe not in the time frame that I wanted but I have never gone without. I know that through the process of my dad dying I have learning a lot of about Christ, honestly probably more than the last 27 years of my life. It is amazing to me how God reveals himself that way. He truly takes awful things that happen and makes them good. I am starting to become ok with the fact that I am not in control and me worrying about what ever it is, is not going to change it. This is a BIG deal for a control freak like me.
Anyway kind of random thoughts all summed up into one, but I am just reminded on a daily basis of how extremely blessed and taken care of I am and for that I am thankful!
I think having Kaleb was a catalyst for me because although I did have drugs while giving birth I realized how mentally and physically strong my body was. If I can do that, I can do anything and so my thought process on a lot of things changed. I am starting to realize how strong of a person I am and am learning new things about myself through this process. This isn't just me alone realizing these things. I know that God has opened many doors for me and revealed himself through situations that have happened throughout this last year.
God's ongoing message that has been drilled into my head over and over and over again is that I will take care of you. To trust in him with everything I need and he will provide it. Maybe not in the time frame that I wanted but I have never gone without. I know that through the process of my dad dying I have learning a lot of about Christ, honestly probably more than the last 27 years of my life. It is amazing to me how God reveals himself that way. He truly takes awful things that happen and makes them good. I am starting to become ok with the fact that I am not in control and me worrying about what ever it is, is not going to change it. This is a BIG deal for a control freak like me.
Anyway kind of random thoughts all summed up into one, but I am just reminded on a daily basis of how extremely blessed and taken care of I am and for that I am thankful!
Monday, April 4, 2011
If you think your a failure... think again!
So I have only been a mom for about 9 months so I don't have much experience but I know this, that I worry all the time about if I am damaging my boy and if he is going to remember this and if I am doing the wrong thing and if I am a failure. It is truly not hard to feel like one as a parent because we will never be as good of one as we have hoped, and that is the truth. One day our kids will look back and say " I wish mom and dad would of done this or that." It is going to happen, which totally sucks! Anyway I was reading this book and this passage struck me, I think it is so true and it gave me some peace of mind. We as women don't share enough of our struggles with each-other. It is like our struggles are secrets and if we share them we are going to be shamed, when in fact that opposite is true because in sharing we would realize that we have all been there.
" Real mothers know it is OK to eat cold pizza for breakfast. Read mothers admit that it is easier to fail at their job then succeed. If parenting is a box of raisin bran than real mothers know that the ratio of flakes to fun is severely imbalanced. For every moment that your child confides in you, or tells you that he loves you, or does something unprompted to protect his brother that you happen to witness, there are many more moments of chaos, error and self doubt.
Real mothers may not speak heresy but they sometimes wish they had chosen something for breakfast other than thin endless cereal. Real mothers worry that other mothers will find the magic ring in the box while they will be looking for ages.Well, Rest easy real mothers because the very fact that you worry about these things already shows that you are a good mother." - Jodi Piccoult
" Real mothers know it is OK to eat cold pizza for breakfast. Read mothers admit that it is easier to fail at their job then succeed. If parenting is a box of raisin bran than real mothers know that the ratio of flakes to fun is severely imbalanced. For every moment that your child confides in you, or tells you that he loves you, or does something unprompted to protect his brother that you happen to witness, there are many more moments of chaos, error and self doubt.
Real mothers may not speak heresy but they sometimes wish they had chosen something for breakfast other than thin endless cereal. Real mothers worry that other mothers will find the magic ring in the box while they will be looking for ages.Well, Rest easy real mothers because the very fact that you worry about these things already shows that you are a good mother." - Jodi Piccoult
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