What to do.... this is the question I have asked myself over and over again this last year. Do I go find a full time job where I can get experience and put Kaleb in daycare full time or do I keep working at Red Robin and Substitute teaching part time and get to stay home with my baby. I feel like because I don't have a "career" that people look down on me and see what I do as important. We live in a society that puts no importance on raising kids and how hard it is. It is always put on the back burning to getting ahead and making more money, in reality at the end of the day though, what is more important? To some people it might be more money and getting to the top of the ladder, but to me, it is my family for sure.
I HATE not having a plan. I go crazy if I don't have something planned in advance. I know God is helping me grow in this area and I am really learning to rely on him. My sister, via her husband quoted " God created you, thus it is his responsibility to take care of you." Duh! Why haven't I thought of it this way before. Just as I would not leave Kaleb to fend for himself, Christ does not leave me to fend for myself. With that said, it is still a constant struggle.
So here I am, playing tug o' war with myself every day, trying to figure out what to do. Maybe I should just drop the line and let God deal with it?!!
I love it! I so completely understand...it's the planner that got you where you are (with God's help of course), and it's hard to drop that! Jenny is always teasing me about this. I think it just makes us feel better to think we have some ounce of control. God has you right where He wants you, and I pray that you are able to find some peace and joy in knowing that God entrusted you and Kav to care for Kaleb, and it is THE most important thing you can do, next to caring for your marriage :)
ReplyDeleteBoth of you girls are doing the most important job in the world. I don't regret one day I spent with you growing up. It was challenging to pay for stuff but amazingly you did not know we were poor and we always had everything we needed. I can tell you from experience that the time flies by way too fast and you will have the rest of your lives to work. Enjoy the ride and I will help with the stuff I can like pj's, clothes, babysitting etc. You have given me the greatest gifts in the world in the very hardest time of my life. And, you are both fantastic mommies.
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