This month has been a challenging one for me. I had a job experience that was very challenging emotionally. Back in April I applied for a job and got through three rounds of interviews and then for whatever reason didn't get the job. My ego was pretty bruised and I was really frustrated. Why would god let that happen? Well obviously he had a different plan in store! A few weeks ago another position at the same school opened up. After subbing in the class for a day there was no way that I even wanted to apply for the position but I soon realized that I was letting fear hold me back, so I applied. I got through two interviews this time and for whatever the reason didn't get the position. It was between me and two others and the person they offered it to didn't accept, the second person lived too far away and they didn't even consider my as their third option. Instead they re posted the position and redid the interview process. During this whole process I was praying for God to give me an open heart and to accept whatever decision was made, and actually when I found out that I didn't get the job my ego was bruised but I felt good about it. For whatever reason I did not get this job. This whole process was a big learning curve for me. I learned to do something that was very uncomfortable even though I was afraid of failure, I learned to Trust that God has a bigger plan and I learned to have more confidence in myself.
This situation for me, was one of the many that God continues to show me about myself through him. He also continues to show his grace and mercy for me. I was humbled by this experience and this experience just reiterated to me that I need to be doing what I am doing until God shows me that I am not. Such a hard thing to do when you are a planner like me, but I am learning and slowly letting go of the reins each time and handing them over to God.
I am reminded of this verse :
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
So good and SO HARD! To just be content and faithful with what he has right in front of you and realizing that it is good enough. I had a thought the other day while dreaming for a bigger house more money, yada yada...that am I even being faithful with what I have? As if being content is a sin or something..."Godliness and contentment are of great gain." You are doing great!
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