Success is in the eye of the beholder

     I have always been a perfectionist by nature... wanting to do the right thing the right way even if that means that I have to do it 100 times which is all nice and good but it gets me into trouble because in a way I can never measure up to myself. I feel like I have to do and be perfect which is rediculous because there is no such thing, and you would think that I would of learned that by now in my 28 years of life, but I am still working on it.
    These last few years have been a difficult journey job wise for me. I got my Masters in teaching but for the life of me cannot find a job. With the economy the way it is now, the possibilities are zilch as it stands so it looks like for the moment I will be working at Red Robin and substitute teaching AGAIN. It isn't that these jobs are horrible it is just not what I want to be doing with my life. HELLO! I spent 7 years in college and I am working at a restaurant to show for it, kind of frustrating. Anyway, after this last bout of promising interviews where I was pretty sure I was going to get a teaching job, and then I didn't, I have started thinking about why do I NEED a teaching job so bad? The more I think about it, the more I realize that I feel like what I do... being a mom, working as a substitute and a server doesn't mean anything to anyone. Its not the picture of success! Success is.... having a career, retirement, benefits and the list could go on and on. A wise woman told me that "There is an art to just being", which got me thinking again. Obviously doing all the things that I am doing now is exactly where I am supposed to be in life, even if it doesn't measure "success" to anyone else. When God wants me to do something different, then he will make that clear, but for the mean time I am sitting right here.
      This concept of success is a thought I am going to have to mull around for a bit, because my perfectionist part of me just wants to do more... the problem with that is that more is never enough because once I have done more i.e. earned my masters or bought a house or had a baby, there is always a "more" to be done. I never measure up! With that said... I am working on it.
     Throughout this whole process in being in a place that I haven't exactly wanted, I have had a wonderful baby boy and gotten to spend so much time with him this first year.  I have been able to spend cherished time with my dad before he passed away. I am SO thankful for those things. This is time  that I will NEVER get back, no matter how "successful" I am!